There I was cycling up that hill in Ireland. Sweating as hell and wanting to give up. Just as I had given up multiple times yesterday and the day before.
But the words of the famous Youtuber Superwoman were drumming in my ears in a sound beat. “Get uncomfortable.” So were the words of Mary, a friend, “You really need to reach the point of feeling uncomfortable while going to the gym for it to work.”
Basically what they were both trying to say is that in order to reach the next level, you need to battle that dragon without hesitation and kill it in order to reach the next level. Even if you are sweating fear that you might get killed in a seconde. You need to get out of your comfort zone. You need to feel uncomfortable. And foremost you need to keep pushing yourself to unlock the next level. With that thought in the back of my mind I pushed myself to the top of that hill. I felt my face turn red, sweat all over the place, tears of frustration about to explode. I felt like crying and giving up. Yet I kept yelling at myself inside my head “not to give up”. I was screaming things like “don’t be a pussy” & “keep paddling”. And I kept going. I kept paddling with all the energy I could gather without bursting into tears. And I also reached that hilltop. I reached my next level of determination. I reached my next leven of perseverance. So this is what being uncomfortable is really about. Unlocking levels. Climbing the ladder.
I felt so glad and proud of myself on that hilltop. When the next hilltop was in sight, I smiled because I felt that I could handle this too. This is do-able I thought. And I did. I rode uphill again & again & again. I believed that I was capable of riding up hills without stopping every other minute to rest and catch breath. A new comfort zone, that is were being uncomfortable got me. A brand new physical border.
This experience made me a believer of the “Get uncomfortable”-quote. In order to achieve something you need to get uncomfortable. Of course this might not be applicable to all situations, but you decide that for yourself.
Sometimes we are so happy in our bubble called “Comfort Zone” that we stop growing as a person, even when we are unhappy the way we are right now. So, I give this advice too: “Get uncomfortable”. Maybe it would even be better to say:
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
How often did you wonder about something? A question that just popped up in your head… An answer you clearly didn’t know. But you wondered. And sometimes you kept on wondering. I know I do. Being a very average person, I too am prone to procrastination and furthermore to forgetting. So, in a way I had an abortion. I killed the curiosity in me at its birth. I sometimes even nipped it in the bud by giving it little to no genuine attention.
Of course sometimes you search it up and you know. But for me that’s not often the case, most of the time I simply forget. Recently I had been wondering how ballons were made and I still don’t know the answer to it.
It’s about time I went looking for the answers to my questions. How else will I know, right? How else will I create the bridge to “the wiser me” ?
I had heard this saying before. Now I have started to believe it. The past few days I have been wwoofing in Ireland with this wonderful family and I do feel inspired.
Wwoofing is a concept of going on a farm or somewhere else where you go help out certain hours per day in exchange of free accommodation. For students like me this is a great way to travel on a low (er) budget. But not only that, wwoofing is a wonderful way to really get to know the locals, their history, daily lives, culture & tradition. And now I have come to realization that this is what travel is going to be about for me. Not only visiting nice places but really trying to get the essence of the place through interactions with the locals.
I had wanted to wwoof for a few years now. But it had stayed “a dream”, somehow unreachable. So, one day I just took a leap of faith and booked a return ticket (Brussels – Dublin) with twee weeks inbetween. This without having found a host. Right now I am so glad I booked the flight. Having already spent around 90 euros did force me to contact as many host as I could. And wonder above wonder I found a host. Perhaps if I hadn’t booked that flight, I might have brushed the lack of interested host off as me being late to send all those emails. And I might have said maybe next year… But when we put off things for later, how big are the chances of them getting fulfilled right? So in a way I bet my 90 euros on those plane tickets. And aren’t I glad I did.
County Waterford, Ireland. That’s where I am. My first wwoofing experience but also my first solo travel ever. And I am learning new things everyday. About plants, bees, Irish history, gender salary gap…
In the past few days I was in company of people who read history books, who preferred reading history of China. People who were really aware of the things that had happened or things that are happening right now in the world. Of the art around the world. The lifestyle of some other cultures. I got asked tons of questions too. About Brussels, its inhabitants and its government. And although I do know certain things, some questions I just couldn’t answer. I felt stupid in a way while at loss of words. I wondered how come I didn’t know this or that. I felt like looking up all those unanswered questions later in the evening, so next time I would know. Not only that but all those conversation also made me curious about the Chinese history or the beehives or the Irish famine and immigration. I wanted to read. I wanted to know. While meeting people who love to read informative books and not only fiction, made me realize the importance of daily reading! With this gained knowledge in mind I do hope to open more books, more often.
So in a way: yes! You could definitely be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I wonder who my 5 people are. Do you know your 5 people?
Revisiting places evokes old faded memories in me. Some are bittersweet, others best left forgotten. Some I had totally forgotten about only to realize that they aren’t forgotten at all. May be we just tend to put some memories in a box until we reopen it one day.
No matter what, memories they remain. A present that might still exist somewhere in some dimension. But long gone and ungraspable in this reality. How things were and how they no longer are the same.
This reality evermore points out how everything is and remains momentary. And time lapse becomes a fact. A truth.
It makes me realize the importance of now. And to live it to the fullest! Makes me appreciate every second, every minute. Because eventually I am merely a book and every single day of my life a page turned over.
During my travel I left a chunk of my soul behind. But I also left a little richer with a crate full of priceless memories and lessons learned.
So until we are reunited with those specific chunks of our souls left behind, let the adventures of our lives continue. Let’s keep shedding chunks of our souls and gaining new precious memories. Xx
©Defective Barbie, The Drip Effect
We all have things we had to let go. Let it lose. Let it fly. Let it spread its wings.
Sometimes it’s easy to let go. Sometimes it’s hard.
But most of the times: we crave catharsis.
Definition according to Oxford dictionary.
Catharsis = “The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.”
There you have it…
Our proper needed closure.
In order for us to be “okay” once more we need closure. We need to release. We need to let go. We need to let it fly.
But what does closure look like? I guess nobody has an answer to that.
And also, my definition of closure might be totally different from you definition of closure.
In that case when do we reach closure?
Does it only matter to us individually?
When we go through rough time with a certain person, very often pain overtakes and we tend to think ONLY of ourself, we loose vision of the other individual, of their pain.
Here only our own catharsis matters. We care less about other individual’s healing process. But what about the other individual’s catharsis? Aren’t we responsible for their catharsis as well? (Especially if the painful history involved both of you.)
And I am using the word responsible because you are definitely going to be the person who can ensue some catharsis… whether it be by talking things over and over again or something else.
And what about the times when you thought you had achieved that catharsis and a few days/ weeks later you are back to zero… Catharsis gone.
What if catharsis is nothing more but a figment of our imagination…
Created our of fear for karma or morality…
Maybe we can never fully reach that point of catharsis. We only grasp its shadows and believe it to be real.
©Anatomy Art By MimiPrints
must become strong
a better person
have a diploma
find a job
9-5 job, get a job
study hard to get a job
money to survive
money to thrive
Yet there are so many people in our world.
Yet there are so many worlds within our world.
So many worlds that our world seems too small for all those infinite worlds within.
It sometimes feels like Darwin’s evolution theory. Survival of the fittest in a way.
In the past & the present (and in the future) Darwin’s theory has been (will be) interpreted in so many ways and here I am, interpreting it once again with my own thoughts.
Where does this urge to become a better version of myself come from?
But then we could start with Freudian “me, myself & I” if we start talking about “me” as an entity.
It is true that we are attracted to people with whom we are supposed to have genetically better adapted children.
So isn’t that survival of the fittest?
So is this urge also a way of trying to survive this new era?
Is it our genetics that is trying to overcome the natural selection?Of is it something more psychological and individual? Is it perhaps me trying to find I ?
If we are genetically encoded to enhance ourself, is procrastination and other defaults human flaw?
OR maybe sometimes, just sometimes we are better off walking our own unbeaten path.
We make mistakes, we fall. We misunderstand. We are misunderstood. Heck, we don’t even understand. Nor ourself nor others. We overreact. We exaggerate. We feel hurt. And we hurt back. We are caught up in the moment. We don’t see it clearly anymore. Maybe things are just blurred by those tears falling down our cheek. Blurred by those feelings of being shattered. (Once again.) And while all this concatenation of stuff is happening, reason is not our best friend. Future consequences don’t exist. No one else matters while we try to pick up the pieces and mend ourself. And at the end, all that is left behind is: guilt, remorse, awkwardness, uncertainty & change. Relationships have changed. We can’t go back and there is no way back. We don’t even know where we would go back to. We no longer feel the comfort in that relationship. We are left with doubts. About everything. About the future.
Afterwards nothing is quite the same anymore. We realize that soon enough.
Unfortunately. We might be left feeling guilty for the whole situation. As if we have no one to blame but ourself. We might talk ourself into believing this. And we might talk ourself into feeling guilty. Or we might blame others.
♦But please let us be kind. Be kind to ourself. And be kind to others.♦
We might have made a mistake or many mistakes. But we can’t continue living consumed with guilt or anger. We can’t continue playing the blame game. We need to learn our lessons & we need to forgive ourself. And we need to forgive others. Most importantly we need to grow. Keep on growing & moving forward. Don’t stay stuck in that uncertain moment. Move forward. Be happy. Explore. Perfection doesn’t exist and we are far from being perfect. We too deserve a second chance. We too deserve to be happy again.