Catharsis: real or figment of our own imagination?

©Defective Barbie, The Drip Effect 

We all have things we had to let go. Let it lose. Let it fly. Let it spread its wings.

LOSS. 

Sometimes it’s easy to let go. Sometimes it’s hard.

But most of the times: we crave catharsis.

Definition according to Oxford dictionary. 

Catharsis = “The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.”

There you have it… 

Our proper needed closure.
In order for us to be “okay” once more we need closure. We need to release. We need to let go. We need to let it fly.
But what does closure look like? I guess nobody has an answer to that.
And also, my definition of closure might be totally different from you definition of closure.
In that case when do we reach closure?
Does it only matter to us individually?
When we go through rough time with a certain person, very often pain overtakes and we tend to think ONLY of ourself, we loose vision of the other individual, of their pain.
Here only our own catharsis matters. We care less about other individual’s healing process.  But what about the other individual’s catharsis? Aren’t we responsible for their catharsis as well? (Especially if the painful history involved both of you.)
And I am using the word responsible because you are definitely going to be the person who can ensue some catharsis… whether it be by talking things over and over again or something else. 

And what about the times when you thought you had achieved that catharsis and a few days/ weeks later you are back to zero… Catharsis gone. 

What if catharsis is nothing more but a figment of our imagination… 

Created our of fear for karma or morality…

Maybe we can never fully reach that point of catharsis. We only grasp its shadows and believe it to be real.
 

“Must’s” imposed by society, Darwin, Freud

©Anatomy Art By MimiPrints

must become strong
a better person
have a diploma
find a job
divergent= deviation
9-5 job, get a job
study hard to get a job
money to survive
money to thrive

Yet there are so many people in our world.
Yet there are so many worlds within our world.
So many worlds that our world seems too small for all those infinite worlds within.

It sometimes feels like Darwin’s evolution theory. Survival of the fittest in a way.

In the past & the present (and in the future) Darwin’s theory has been (will be) interpreted in so many ways and here  I am, interpreting it once again with my own thoughts.
Where does this urge to become a better version of myself come from?
But then we could start with Freudian “me, myself & I” if we start talking about “me” as an entity.

It is true that we are attracted to people with whom we are supposed to have genetically better adapted children.
So isn’t that survival of the fittest?
So is this urge also a way of trying to survive this new era?

Is it our genetics that is trying to overcome the natural selection?Of is it something more psychological and individual? Is it perhaps me trying to find I ?

If we are genetically encoded to enhance ourself, is procrastination and other defaults human flaw?

OR maybe sometimes, just sometimes we are better off walking our own unbeaten path.  

Harry Potter 20+ years & I open at the close

©2011-2017 li-t

J.K. Rowling. The name hold so much significance to so many around the world. I am one of those many: for me too she has a special place in my heart. Though it wasn’t until 2007 that I got to enter Hogwarts and share these amazing experiences. I count Harry Potter among one of the first book series/ sagas that made me realize my hunger to devour books. I remember reading it till late at night . I remember crying for weeks out of sadness when I finished the last chapter of the last book. And then rereading it all over again. Multiple start over’s of the story, because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. I am sure you’ll find extremer Potterheads out there, I don’t quite belong in that domain fully. But Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood! 

And I am extremely thankful to J.K. Rowling for that . Thank you for your perseverance & for your stamina. For never giving up on the wonderful world of witchcraft and wizardry, without which many wouldn’t be the person they are today.

♦Thank you for always finding the light in the darkest of times to continue writing these amazing stories.♦

Who would have imagined the bestsellers, she certainly didn’t.  You might all know how she was rejected big time while trying to publish The Philosopher’s Stone. Imagine she had given up on the one thing that she enjoyed the most: writing. The world would have definitely lost a wonderful brilliant timeless epic. For young and old as it is ageless. 
If she hadn’t kept on going, she wouldn’t have been the bestseller author she is today. 
So in a way this makes me realize how things have a way of demystifying themselves at the end.  How all the events throughout your life seems to justify themselves at a point in some sort of way. Fit the puzzle. Just as the snitch bears I open at the closeI believe you need to hold on until the end. Definitely hold on to dear life if it is something you really want to achieve. And keep on working on it. Because you won’t know what “would have been” if you had given up at the very beginning. And foremost, isn’t it nicer to know at the close than wonder “what would have been if…” ? 

So, THANK YOU J.K. ROWLING

FOR NOT GIVING UP

FOR INSPIRING MANY TO NEVER GIVE UP

 

 

Be kind. To yourself. To others.

We make mistakes, we fall. We misunderstand. We are misunderstood. Heck, we don’t even understand. Nor ourself nor others. We overreact. We exaggerate. We feel hurt. And we hurt back. We are caught up in the moment. We don’t see it clearly anymore. Maybe things are just blurred by those tears falling down our cheek. Blurred by those feelings of being shattered. (Once again.) And while all this concatenation of stuff is happening, reason is not our best friend. Future consequences don’t exist. No one else matters while we try to pick up the pieces and mend ourself. And at the end, all that is left behind is: guilt, remorse, awkwardness, uncertainty & change. Relationships have changed. We can’t go back and there is no way back. We don’t even know where we would go back to. We no longer feel the comfort in that relationship. We are left with doubts. About everything. About the future.

Afterwards nothing is quite the same anymore. We realize that soon enough.
Unfortunately. We might be left feeling guilty for the whole situation. As if we have no one to blame but ourself. We might talk ourself into believing this. And we might talk ourself into feeling guilty. Or we might blame others. 

♦But please let us be kind. Be kind to ourself. And be kind to others.♦

We might have made a mistake or many mistakes. But we can’t continue living consumed with guilt or anger. We can’t continue playing the blame game. We need to learn our lessons & we need to forgive ourself. And we need to forgive others. Most importantly we need to grow. Keep on growing & moving forward. Don’t stay stuck in that uncertain moment. Move forward. Be happy. Explore. Perfection doesn’t exist and we are far from being perfect. We too deserve a second chance. We too deserve to be happy again.

How dreams turn into goals, choices & priorities..

Many goals, dreams, hopes. Tons of aspiration. Some procrastination. Tiny budget. Time to cut off things? 
Why can it be so hard sometime to determine the worth-it’s from the not-so-worth-it’s (run away as fast as you can-deals)?

♦This heavy burden of hopes and dreams and goals even. I don’t feel light weighted knowing all the things I want to do during my lifetime. It just buries me deeper in my aspirations. ♦

Travel. Good grades. Learn how to swim like a pro. Pay for it.
Get your driving licence. Pay for it out of your own pocket.
Buy a bicycle because you have always wanted to own a bicycle.
But where would you put it on your already crammed third floor apartment?
Is is worth that hundreds of euros? To eventually have a bicycle to ride once in a while, when the sun chooses to appear and when free time sips in?
Cause let’s get real: how often do you plan on riding your bike? It’s not like you’re gonna go to school on it. So, scratch that deal off the list. One day when you have enough money and enough space to home a bicycle, go buy a bicycle. But now  is not the time of the “bicycle – dream”. Now let’s get to the driving licence part of the bargain.
This is an important skill you should definitely acquire. Now. Pronto. Invest. Invest. Invest. If you have money you can spare, working on your condition is not that bad an idea. Keep that swimming lessons thought in mind. And good grades? They don’t grow on trees. You reap what you sow. So put the necessary effort.
As for travel, don’t plan thousand and one things you can’t maintain. Plan one thing. And make that thing a reality.

Dreams need to become reality. One step at a time. 

But eventually it’s not just about “want” and “need”. It’s about priority/ priorities. 
Prioritizing things in your life. And that can be different for each person. What is important for you, might be unnecessary for another. This doesn’t mean one is right or wrong in his or her way of living life.  Because the truth is, life is all about choices! And choice also means loss.  In order to gain something you might end up loosing another possible choice. So be smart and be brave and choose.  And most importantly don’t falter and don’t linger choice-less.
And one more thing, don’t make your “now is not the right time for …” excuse more than needed. Cause truth be told, the “right time” may never show up and only keep you waiting.  

You reap what you sow…

Watercolor ©2014-2017 rukiarulez2076

You can’t clean your house once and expect it to stay clean forever.
Clean house = daily effort.

Just like cleaning your house is a routine, so should blogging/ writing be.
A daily habit. A commitment to myself and my aspirations.
I haven’t posted anything the past few weeks.
And I have a reason for it too! It’s once again “finals”.  Whether my reasons are valid enough, that’s up to you readers. I have my own doubt whether it’s legit or not.
But yeah, end of the second semester = those dreaded exams to test your knowledge…
But I have enjoyed my courses this semester, it has been quite a rollercoaster.
We discussed American realism with authors such as Mark Twain, Henry James, Booker T. Washington etc. Only 7 authors in total and a work of each. But it really was a journey through America of that era.

AND the heat outside is unbearable. Who would have thought that this summer (in Brussels) we would have so many hot, hot, hot days in a row? I didn’t.  
So yes, I have been working hard, procrastinating at times, feeling depressed (in a very minor way of course), asking myself many philosophical questions about life and reason and purpose, browsing through internet researching all those awesome travel destinations. Mainly studying.

But one thing I haven’t done at all. I haven’t updated my writings.
And in a way, this is me realizing my mistake. My lack of commitment to my dreams, goals and aspirations.

You reap what you sow. A highly known proverb.
I am sowing for good results but I forgot to sow for my writings.  Without sowing, how can I reap (no matter the worth of the harvest)?
And lack of discipline surely played a part.  So, in my pursuit of growth, happiness, enrichment, fulfilment I need to find that daily discipline. And commit myself to it.

I need to start sowing.  And I need to keep sowing. Daily.

The questionable existence of the “perfect job”

Each Saturday I work in a clothing store.
It’s always a long day of work, long hours of standing on my feet.
It’s only a student job for me, a way of earning money for my own leisure, no pressure/ responsibility attached.  Money I can spend on my own terms. Hard earned for sure.
But non the less for my own leisure, no responsibility-attachments.
But for some workers there, it is their regular job. Responsibilities-attached. Their income.  Money that pays the rent or gets food on the table.

What I have realized working there for quite a while now is: it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. It has made me appreciate my college studies even more. That I have the opportunity to aim higher. To reach for the stars (as a matter of speaking…). To pursue the studies or careers I am interested it, that will challenge me, that will fulfill me in the long run.  I have all that handed to me. All that’s left to do is grab what’s given and make the most of it.
Live at the maximum of my capacities.

Now being a student, studying language-literature, people often ask me “What can you do with your studies later?”  And nowadays it has become a dreaded question for me. Because I don’t know myself. “You can be a teacher.” That is a truthful enough answer. And something like: “Yeah companies are always hiring linguists etc.” is another one.
But truth be told, there is no specific answer to that question. Maybe I am not well-informed? Or maybe there are so many answers to that question: Teacher, radio, newspaper, magazines, museums, publishing houses, companies and other tons of possibilities. I have all those possibilities. I have the freedom of choice. I am not stuck in a non-stop train, heading somewhere with a tunnel vision.
Of course I can’t become a doctor or an architect all of a sudden.
But altogether there are a lot of possibilities within my field of education.

Language is the foundation of our civilization, isn’t it?

Another think I have come to realize is: change is permanent.
Whether it be your outfit, you appearances, dreams, hopes, goals: they can change. If there is one thing certain in life, that would be change. The same goes for “the dream job”-concept. It is an illusion. It is temporary. It is change on its own.
My dream job a few years ago is not my dream job today, which might not be my dream job 5 years later.

When I think of my dream job now, it would be something like “travelling the world, writing stories/ adventures for National Geographic Traveler” of “being a digital nomad & earning money”. But again, that is my dream job right now, in this very moment of me being a 21-year-old with silly hopes and dreams in the corners of my mind. And when people ask me “What do you want to do later?”  here is my answer: “Heck, I don’t know. I would love to work in a publishing house or explore being a translator or a writer.”
Once again that is my dream job now, at this very moment.
And as we all know that people change, so do dreams, while you grow up.
So may be I’ll get to be all those throughout my life: an editor, a translator and a writer. May be I won’t be any due to change of dreams and aspirations within a few years. And that’s okay.

It’s okay as long a I keep aiming for something at each present of my existence. As long as I keep working hard to achieve it no matter how small the goal. That I don’t give up or feel like I can’t do it.

When I was a young girl I literally believed everything was possible. But than through the end of high school and first two years of college, something changed. I was broken somehow. All those pretty smart kids around me, wrong study choice etc. made me feel worthless. I felt like a failure and headed towards burn-out/ depression. I realized that I had never really felt that self-confidence, at least not 100% consciously. I was stuck with that feeling as if I had drifted through high school without fully being conscious of myself as an individual with a personality. Without growing as a person.
But  things are changing. I am changing. I am more aware. Not only about my surroundings but also about myself.  And more importantly I believe in myself. And that feels wonderful.

I would like to end with one of my favourite poems called “The road not taken” by Robert Frost.

“The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.